Hidden Gifts of emotional roller coasters of grief

Have you ever wondered why we go through so many different emotions after a loss?  If you have suffered a loss in your life, depending on the severity of it, you have probably experienced going through different emotions at one minute and feeling ok the next.  Some people call this process emotional roller coaster.

I experienced this emotional rollercoaster for a long time after most of my losses especially after losing my first husband and my only son.  At the time, I didn’t know how to deal with them.  They would show up out of nowhere and disappear the next minute and the same thing kept happening throughout the day.  It wasn’t till later when I went through different ways of healing myself that I realized the gifts hidden deep inside of these feelings?

You may ask how you can even think about gifts when you feel like your whole world has collapsed and there is no hope.  Thinking of gifts is the last thing on my mind when I am suffering.

Let me explain, any loss in life is an event.  These events sometimes shake you up more than others.  When you get shaken up, old feelings and painful thoughts that had been sitting dormant in your body and mind wake up and come to the surface.  Imagine a snow globe, the beautiful flakes come up to the top when you shake it and after a short time, they settle back down at the bottom of the globe. 

The gifts that I mentioned earlier come when these old emotions just like the snowflakes come up to the surface.  By looking at and feeling them, realizing when they formed, how and what caused them to form, you are able to heal them and let them go.  Remember, you need to feel it in order to heal it.  Most often than not, you will notice that they were created when you were very young even as young as 4 or 5 years old. 

I have been able to heal a big part of my own grief over my own losses and have helped my clients to release thoughts and feelings that they had carried over 60 or 70 years of their lives.    

This process can take only a few minutes.  So next time you feel the emotional roller coasters are coming up for you take a moment, feel them, write them down and just examine them for a few moments (not more than a few moments) and decide if they are real or have they past their expiration date and it’s time to let them go? 

There is so much more to say and discuss.  If you have any questions or interested in having 30 minutes free heart to heart conversation with me, please email me: zoya@healingwithcompassion.com, or call me 866-908-4325.

For now, just appreciate what you have in the present and be compassionate and loving with yourself.

Sending you big hugs and invite you to look for gifts in every aspect of your life,

Zoya Bokhoor-Mills

Certified “From Heartbreak to Happiness®” coach, www.healingwithcompassion.com