9 tips to ease your heartbreak during the holidays!
Holidays can intensify negative emotions for people going through grief. This year has brought it’s own share of additional negative emotions and fears into our lives.
So, how are we supposed to deal with all of this?
Complimentary 30 minutes Loving journey to emotional healing session
The following tips and actions are suggestions to help you release your sadness and grief over the upcoming holiday season and during the pandemic. You are the only person who knows which works best for you. The intention to share these tips is to help you create a new way of being that inspires you to find the gifts in yourself.
Get a journal that inspires you. Write a list of everything you are grateful for in you new Gratitude Journal. Every day add 5 more to your list, read them in the morning or before bed time, feel the gratitude in your heart. Watch your gratitude grow stronger and bring a sense of joy within you. Realizing the gifts in our lives help us feel better, opens the heart and fills it up with love!
Acknowledge your emotions and feelings, allow them to surface without making war with them and release them. What does it mean to release emotions? It means to let them go from your thoughts and from your body. We always want to feel good and it is important to feel good. What is also important is releasing what does not instead of shoving the feelings down. When you shove the feelings inside, they come back much stronger.
Here are some ways that can help you release your negative emotions:
Meditation, at least once a day. Either sit quietly and focus on your breath, calming music or listen to a guided meditation.
Free Flow Writing; Pour your thoughts and feelings on the paper as you are writing. Write without worrying about grammar or spelling. Write down whatever comes up in your thoughts. Your journaling could look like this; “I feel lots of emotions coming up, oh I should not forget to buy milk, ok, where was I?”
Have extra sessions with your coach if you have one or a friend who is understanding and supportive. If you don’t have a coach, this is a good time to sign up with one. You can find great special rates for the pandemic.
This is the time to take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stress can cause fatigue. Make sure you are getting enough rest and drinking enough water to keep you hydrated. Try to eat fresh and healthy food if you tend to turn to junk food when you are dealing with emotional issues.
Take 3 to 5 deep breaths every hour. Breathe to the point that you are comfortable, do not over do it. Breath in for 5 counts, hold the breath for 6 and release for 8 counts.
Do not take on strenuous physical activities. Taking walks in outside at a park or by the beach is a great way to get your blood flowing and getting the fresh air in your body. Body needs the positive Ions outdoors to refresh and repair.
Grieving loss of a loved one? Celebrate their memories. Acknowledge their presence by doing the following:
Light a candle in their memory
celebrate the way they enjoyed the holidays
give a gift to someone in need on their behalf or donate the money you would have spent for their gift to a charity they supported.
Don't keep the love you have for them in your heart. Share it with people around you and send it to your departed loved one. Share your fond memories of your loved one with family and friends.
Be open with your friends and family about what you are going through and what you can handle emotionally or physically, what you prefer to avoid specially during the holiday season.
If you have lost a child (my heart goes out to you) and you have other children. Celebrate the holidays the same as before. Perhaps this will help them feel a sense of balance. You can add new traditions to honor your departed loved one.
Every year at this time, I send out this blog in our monthly newsletter, hoping that it will support and help readers cope with negative emotions caused by grief during the holiday season.
Today I re-read it to see if the information is also valuable during these uncertain times. What I realized was that, this year we may all be going through grief in some shape or form.
Some of us are dealing with that loss plus the stresses of the pandemic, some of us have lost our businesses or jobs, our freedom to go outside without fearing the worst or simply feeling the grief and stress of negativity that surround us.
The outside world brought a new reality to our door steps. We are clear that there is nothing we can do to change this new reality other than following the guidelines set by our Government to keep us safe.
Good news, ways to create something new
How do we deal with all these issues and uncertainty? Do we lay down, suffer or resist what is going on because we don’t like it? Or do we start making changes that we should have made a long time ago to make our lives better? I am sure, you know what I am talking about. The dreams that we’ve postponed or projects that are waiting for that special day and so on.
What I am referring to is releasing what has not worked for our best good and starting something new that will inspire our hearts. To help us get up every morning with passion for the day and be present to its beauty even if we feel the world on our shoulders.
To share a little about my own experiences, I have gone through the emotional roller coaster, being overwhelmed and more since we started being quarantined. This period lasted as long as I allowed it to continue. When I decided that being victimized by my life’s situation is no longer an option and started taking actions, life became what I wanted to create instead.
I started reaching out to my friends, signed up for coaching programs that helped me get through what was stopping me and researched programs that were going to help me find the spirituality that was missing and the connection to the Soul that was lacking.
Since the connection to Soul came back, the ideas have been rolling in. New programs such as practicing Distant Reiki to provide energy healing for people at the comfort of their home. Creating special coaching sessions to help people going through the pandemic and more have come into existence. They have changed my life and others around me.
I can tell you one thing, the change did not happen over night. It happened gradually and there were times that I wanted to give up but the heart would not allow it.
I would like to invite you to make a choice starting this moment and decide on how you want your life to be starting this moment? What does it take to reach this new way of living? Are you willing and committed to make it happen? Visualize this new you every morning as soon as you open your eyes and take on being that person.
The change may not happen right away and it will start by taking one step after another.
Thank you for staying with me through this blog, I know it might have brought up some uneasy emotions.
I have a new invitation for you, if you want to take it on. Create your goals for the rest of this year, post them in the comment section below. I would love to read them, hold space for you, cheer you on, and support you in keeping them going till you reach them. Like the song says (you’ve got a friend in me). Sending you much love and healing.
Complimentary 30 minutes Loving journey to emotional healing session
Zoya Bokhoor-Mills
zoya@healingwithcompassion.com
866-908-4325