Mystery of the missing charger
One week after our recent move to a new place, we were still living out of boxes and I had to play a guessing game with which contains what I am desperately needing.
One day I had an urgent phone call and wasn’t able to find my headset and charger for my iPhone. I looked everywhere and was getting really upset with myself, the move and all of it. Finally I gave up and let it go, thinking that they will turn up at some point. 2 weeks passed and we had opened all the big boxes that had crowded the rooms and hallways.
The missing phone items were nowhere to be seen. I was getting discouraged and kept complaining about this situation resenting my whole experience of our new beautiful Apartment. Finally, I gave up and purchased a new charger and headset.
One glorious day the mystery was solved. As I started to put the small stuff away around my desk area, I noticed a small plastic bag sitting right next to my desk. You can imagine my surprise, shock and happiness all mixed up when I opened the bag and found the missing iPhone charger and headset.
This day I learned a valuable lesson. What if everything we are looking for in life is sitting right in front of us in a simple looking bag? We don't see them because we are laser focused on looking every where else outside of our little corner?
Through this simple experience I learned to look for what I want in me. After all aren’t we the source of how life looks to us? It starts with me, my happiness, my joy and also my sadness, misery, fear and sorrow.
We can not change or heal what's outside of us, we have no control over it. But we can heal what’s within us by being present to our bodies and feelings happening in every moment.
How do we do that?
Its called taking a pause during our busy lives. For example after driving to our destination or before starting a new task, take a pause and look within. Take an inventory of how we feel, what is our body going through, is it feeling stressed or perhaps some sadness is lurking around? Then accept that part of us that needs to be heard and healed with love and compassion, perhaps tell it that it is safe and will be ok. (This section was taken from book called "Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach").
By listening to what needs to be heard internally, the un-wanted feelings disappear, just like that. And by resisting and pushing them away they get stronger and shout louder to get our attention.
Taking a pause is exactly like looking in the bag next to our desk and finding the answers to questions that we’ve been asking for months and years or finding the calm in the violent storm that’s been running our minds and souls.
So next time you are going crazy trying to find something that’s missing, feeling overwhelmed or having trouble letting go of sadness or fear, take a deep breath and a moment of silence. Calm your body with each breath. Then look around you with a clear focus, or look inside and release the negative feelings. I bet you will find what you’ve been looking for is sitting right next to you or emotions you’ve been wanting to release will have a chance to come up and go away with ease.
Let me know if this practice was useful for you and how did it help.
Hugs,
Zoya Bokhoor-Mills
Healing With Compassion
866-908-HEAL (4325)